The Dead Pool - THREAD

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The Dead Pool '99
by Anonymous

If you saw the Clint Eastwood film "The Dead Pool," you'll remember that the movie was based on a gambling pool that included many prominent San Franciscans, including Dirty Harry himself. Everyone on the list — the Dead Pool — was targeted for death. Just a movie, you say? Perhaps. But eavesdrop at any hardcore gym's juice bar, and you'll start to hear bodybuilding's own version of this mortal oddsmaking. Rather than arguing about which pro has the best arms or the most pleasing physique, they banter about who's going to be the next to die!

What are their guesses based on? For the most part, rumors of outrageous drug usage, backed up by insane muscle gains in short periods of time, and dramatic and easily apparent physical symptoms — all of which point to the possibility that one or more may soon kick the bucket.

We published the first Dead Pool on this website in 1998. Of course, in bodybuilding, the names and faces come and go. Some get smart and retire. Others get injured. Others die. Here's our latest, up-to-date version of the Dead Pool:


Momo. Munzer. BJ Johns. Jeep Swenson. Curtis Leffler. These are just a few of the bodybuilding world's finest cut down in their prime by the very same pharmaceuticals that made their careers possible. Outwardly, a "pro level" physique, as seen smiling and grabbing some fitness babe's ass on the cover of Muscle and Fitness, or grimacing under a pair of dumbbells roughly the size of dual Volkswagens in a vein-popping Chris Lund cover for Flex, is the ideal picture of health. The skin is bronze and shiny, the muscles full and round. These are the strongest, healthiest-looking men you could ever hope to find.

But we hardcore bodybuilding fans know what's really going on inside these superhuman physiques. Livers are working harder than they were ever meant to, processing thousands of milligrams of powerful androgens. Perhaps even a blood-filled cyst or three has formed. Myriad substances like insulin, growth hormone, IGF-1, and many more play havoc with the body's delicate balance of operating and regulatory systems. This is the reality. Some call it chemical Russian Roulette, while the athletes themselves call it "doing what they have to do." After I wrote the first Dead Pool, it almost seemed as if some people were starting to wake up and take stock of what was more important — their lives or their muscles. Muscleheads being muscleheads, life lost.

The trend of bigger and freakier shows no signs of reversing itself, as every year brings a new horde of young guys who want to weigh a ripped 300 pounds — and win the Mr. Olympia. Which brings us to the Dead Pool for 1999. Feel free to make odds and set up pools with all of your friends, because the odds are good that the Grim Reaper is gonna' come calling on one of these idiots before the year is out. The names of all of these walking drug experiments have been changed to protect us from lawsuits, but you may recognize one or more of your favorite big boys.


1) Crocodile Dumbdie

Yes, our little Aussie friend is still riding high on the Dead Pool for the second year in a row. He may be only 5'4" in a pair of Air Jordans with a one-inch heel, but that hasn't stopped him from trying to pack on as much mass and bodyweight as some bodybuilders a foot taller. Crocodile routinely gets up to 300 pounds in the off-season, stuffing his puffy face with the greasiest fare imaginable from Burger King, Kentucky Fried Chicken, and McDonald's. Can you say "heart attack waiting to happen?"

I saw him at this weight this past spring, and it wasn't a pretty sight. Aside from being pasty white and covered with boil-like red zits, he looked like someone who had just been force-fed a truckload of donuts and was about to burst.

Mr. Dumbdie keeps getting bigger and is now a consistent top five in the Mr. Olympia, but at what price? His clavicles are fairly narrow and his lats are high. No amount of training or drugs can remedy these genetic flaws. Even with Dorian gone, he still needs to beat Ronnie Coleman, Flex Wheeler, Kevin Levrone, and Shawn Ray to get the Holy Sandow. At 27 years old, Croc should think about whether or not he wants to be around in five years. With his track record of banging all of the fitness girls in the LA area, he should want to stay alive just for the new poontang he hasn't yet met!


2) Biff Blockhead

Biff is the only other repeat from the original Dead Pool, and his utter stupidity guarantees that he'll always be a good bet to kick the bucket. Most people on the inside of the sport can't believe that he's lived this long, and he only started competing as a pro in 1993. Biff is famous for "freezing" onstage at the Arnold Classic a few years back, and at the recent Olympia he only made it ten minutes into the prejudging before he collapsed and was taken to a nearby hospital for "severe dehydration."

I saw him crumple backstage in a giant heap at three different Pro Ironmans. Each time, he was unable to breathe after hitting just a few poses, his distended belly hitching like a beached baby whale's. He's just not a healthy guy. Biff wheezes, coughs, and sputters when he speaks, and trembles like an epileptic whenever he poses.

Rumor has it that he abused clenbuterol for so long and with such outrageous dosages (try twenty a day for months on end with no break) that he actually became asthmatic. Yet, somehow, I feel that asthma is the least of this Frankenstein look-a-like's problems. He competes at anywhere from 275-285 pounds, ripped. Those of you who have used "sports supplements" have a fair idea of the amounts and varieties of drugs needed to achieve such a feat.

Biff Blockhead, I hope you've got your will in order.


3) Chuckie's Boys

Chuck is the newest hotshot "guru" who helps the top pros prepare for the biggest shows. Over the past year he's been responsible for both the Mr. and Ms. Olympia winners, the Arnold Classic and Night of Champions winners, and a couple more guys in the Olympia top six to boot. Wow, he must know a lot about training and nutrition, right? I'm sure that he does, but these people don't need to pay him handsomely for that information. Don't you think the top pros have that area handled by now? Of course they do.

Chuck's specialty is drugs — which ones to take, how much to take, how to administer them, when to take them, etc. He's actually considered a genius, much like Dan Duchaine used to be. Chuck actually got the biggest boost in his career as a guru just a couple of years back when the IFBB started testing for diuretics. The pros needed to get that "dry" look to win, but standard fare like Lasix and Spiropent were no longer options. They needed new drugs that would work just as well, and that wouldn't show up in urine. Chuck stepped in and rescued the customers that lined up for his services.

At the recent Mr. Olympia press conference, one top five guy actually lashed out and accused Chuck's boys of having an unfair advantage. He singled out "plasma expanders" and "osmotic diuretics" as being two of the chemical agents that Chuck was giving to his clients. I've also heard from eyewitnesses who have seen his clients hooked up to IV drips in their hotel rooms the night before the big shows. Yep, Chuck's boys are winning the big prize money these days, and that's great. That means that when they keel over soon, their loved ones will have plenty of money to live on.


4) Sam Simian

I'm singling out this one particular user of a certain "posing oil" from Germany that retails at 400 bucks a bottle, but you can feel free to add all of the other users to the list.

First of all, who do these zipperheads think they're kidding? Maybe they can get away with "Fake-ahol" in the calves, but not the arms. When an arm hangs straight down, the bicep stretches. It does not remain contracted in a ball. That's okay, guys, at least you're fooling a few old women and first-graders with your injected oil implants.

Sam Simian is a very obscure new ape-like pro from Australia who's loaded up his arms and calves with this Fake-ahol. I saw him in Venice a couple of months back, and the only thing more ludicrous than his fake muscles was how his weathered face looked more like 45 than the purported 25 he claims.

Fake-ahol, as we said before, is not a real implant. It's just oil. The maker (who, by the way, insists in all sorts of disclaimers that he doesn't recommend injecting it, despite his getting rich quick because that's exactly what everyone is doing) doesn't even know how it binds to the muscle cells. My fear in using it would concern what happens when these oil globules get loose and circulate in the bloodstream. Obviously, a wayward fat bubble that lodges in a capillary in the brain or a heart ventricle would mean instantaneous death. And for what?

At least with steroids and training, you're really building up a muscle. Fake-ahol is a cheesy cop-out that's spotted as being bogus in two seconds by absolutely everyone in the know. That includes judges at contests, fellow athletes, photographers, and journalists. Why take such a tremendous risk for an extra inch in the arms? (Or, in the case of a certain British guy's triceps, what looks like two or three inches?)

Crackheads are sometimes willing to kill for a ten-dollar rock, but why would a bodybuilder be willing to die for an inch of bicep or gastrocnemius muscle? Fake-ahol users are all playing with fire. Dead Pool odds favor pulmonary arrest and brain aneurysms for those who enhance with this viscous substance straight from hell.


5) Cardio Arrestos

Speaking of cardiac arrest, this bottom-level pro actually spent several days in the hospital for what rumor had was a heart attack at age 29. Of course, he denied that it was a heart attack, claiming that it was an allergic reaction to medication. Whatever. In any case, this poor bastard has been eking out a living as a personal trainer while placing in the famous "16th place" at the Night of Champions and other pro shows.

For those of you who don't know, everyone after the first 15 places is put in the 16th spot, as the judges don't waste their time giving placings to every schmuck that shows up. He won his pro card as a middleweight and, like many before him, he thought it was an instant ticket to fame and fortune. Cardio now plans to compete this spring at 215 pounds, yet complained in a recent magazine interview of having financial problems. Take some advice from me, Arrestos — save your money, take up softball, and get yourself off the Dead Pool!


6) Father Joe Lump

Joe was a successful pro bodybuilder, an ex-seminary student who gave up the priesthood for a more "normal" life — which, in his opinion, includes 'roiding up to the gills and power-bodybuilding his way to star status. Despite having the personality of a lump of coal and losing his hair, he did very well for himself, winning two very big contests. Then tragedy struck in the form of colitis, and his lower intestine was removed completely. Now Joe shits through a hole in his side into a colostomy bag.

There may very well have been no connection between the colitis and Joe's drug use, or the fact that he once routinely consumed 10,000 calories a day. What makes him a Dead Pool candidate is the fact that Mr. Lump has announced plans to return to pro bodybuilding. That's right, half of his intestine is gone, and he's all set to start pumping in the test, the D-bol, the deca, the GH, and everything but the kitchen sink. If you start seeing this mullet-head from the Midwest looking large and in charge again, put that boy on the top of your list.

Hey, since he trained for the priesthood, do you suppose that he could give himself Last Rites?


7) Vito Vitriolli

Yet another of the roughly ten thousand NPC National Middleweight Champions, Vito has done better than most of his peers. In his first pro show, the native New Yorker busted into the sacred top five. Interestingly, the 5'5" man had just earned his pro card seven months earlier while weighing 176 pounds, yet when Vito stepped onstage to battle guys like guys like Ronnie Coleman, he weighed a ripped 210 pounds. Man, I wish us normal guys had the "training" knowledge to pack on that much muscle in such a short time!

A blocky, stocky little fellow with a beet-red face in the off-season, Vito seems to have a kamikaze attitude toward steroid use. Or maybe it's the Nietzschean idea of "that which does not kill me makes me stronger." Well, Vito, the sauce hasn't killed you just yet, but give it a little more time.

Vito's a Dead Pool underdog, but don't count him out just yet.


8) Baby D

I knew this kid when he was a teenager on the East Coast in 1991 when he was just starting out on 'roids. At a height of 5'6", he made a great middleweight. Of course, that wasn't big enough, so he went up to light heavyweight. Then people told him that he looked great, but his arms were still a little behind in development. Lo and behold, by 1997 he was a heavyweight, and now he's earned professional status.

When asked if he would compete as a pro immediately, he responded that he was taking a year off "to add some more size." Goodness gracious, how much bigger does he want to get? And how much shit is he willing to take to do it? Keep an eye on Baby D, he's a sleeper.


9) Larry "The Ultimate Veal" Lambchop

Here's another East Coast youngster who won the Nationals at just 25 years of age. He's one hell of a big dude, competing at 5'9" tall, 250 pounds, and going over 280 in the off-season with the rosy complexion that high blood pressure imparts. What kind of a stack must he be on? Well, considering the "before" pictures that have run in several magazines, it has to be significant.

Before he began bodybuilding, "The Ultimate Veal" looked more like the ultimate Don Knotts impersonator. He's one of those guys who started training and loading up on drugs the very same day. Just two years after starting to train/use drugs, Larry was a giant with 21-inch arms, 32-inch thighs, and the Teen Nationals title. By the time he soon turns 27, he'll have been on drugs for a solid ten years.

Watch for Mr. Lambchop to be a stronger contender in the Dead Pool as time goes by.


10) Toadman and Frank Parcheesi

Just for variety, I wanted to throw in two powerlifters. Toadman and Frank used to be neck-and-neck rivals for the bench press record of the world, but injuries took Frank out of the running years ago. Toadman claims to be natural, though he stands 5'7" and weighs nearly 400 pounds. Maybe he is natural, but 400 pounds is still grossly overweight. One of these days he just might be trying to bench 850 or squat 1,200 when his poor bloated couch cushion-sized heart just plain explodes.

Frank's never claimed to be natural. Back in the early '80s in the Boston area, he used to have gym buddies scrub his back with steel wool in the shower to pop all of the zits he couldn't reach. Nearly as overweight as Toadman, Frank's been a heavy steroid user for at least twenty years. He's tried WWF wrestling and owning his own supplement company, but what he really needs to try is cleaning out.

At over 40 years of age, he should forget about being a big, strong freak while he still has a chance. If you keep seeing this dope's picture in Ironman and how he plans to set the bench press record again, move him up near the top of your list. I guess he never heard Vince Gironda's famous quote, "Try bench-pressing six feet of dirt off your chest in the dark."

Deleted

Følger ikke voldsomt med i bodybuilding, men vil gætte på at de her to er rigtige, resten aner jeg ikke.

Crocodile Dumbdie = Lee Priest
Biff Blockhead = Jay Cutler

Følger ikke voldsomt med i bodybuilding, men vil gætte på at de her to er rigtige, resten aner jeg ikke.

Crocodile Dumbdie = Lee Priest
Biff Blockhead = Jay Cutler

Got that right.
Biff Blockhead havde en contest weight på 285 lbs, hvilket også fremgår fra hans wiki-side
yderligere frøs han i Arnold 1994, hvor han måtte bæres ud af 3 officials.

Biff Blockhead = Paul Dillet?

Biff Blockhead = Paul Dillet?

Yes sir.

9) Larry "The Ultimate Veal" Lambchop

Phil Heath?

Father Joe lump - Tom Platz?

Father Joe lump - Tom Platz?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaarhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

9) Larry "The Ultimate Veal" Lambchop

Phil Heath?

Det skal være fra '99 så jeg tror det er Jay Cutler.

Father Joe lump - Tom Platz?

Nope. Ham her er pretty unknown.

Jeg kan ikke finde løsningen på nettet? Nogen, der kan det?

Jeg kan ikke finde løsningen på nettet? Nogen, der kan det?

Jeg har nogle af dem, men mangler stadig sikre navne på 5) , 8) og 9) fra '99.

Jeg kan ikke finde løsningen på nettet? Nogen, der kan det?

Jeg har nogle af dem, men mangler stadig sikre navne på 5) , 8) og 9) fra '99.

PM mig tak!

'99:
1) Lee Priest
2) Paul Dillett
3) Chad Nichols
4) Luke Wood
5) Craig Licker
6) Michael Francois
7) Johnny Moya
8) ???????????????
9) Jay Cutler
10) Anthony Clark and Ted Arcidi

Jeg ved godt hvad det her betyder, men jeg kan ikke lade være med at tænke "Hvornår får jeg sådan en chance igen?"

The Dead Pool 1998

1) Luke Deters

Many know about this bodybuilder's famous "freeze" during the prejudging of a recent contest. His entire body cramped so painfully that three men had to carry him offstage like a statue. He later admitted this was due to unwise diuretic use. This alone doesn't give him any special points in the Dead Pool. Instead, it is his inability to make it through any prejudging without collapsing backstage in a 280-pound, wheezing heap. Should you ever see Luke living large in the off-season at 320 pounds, you'll see that the mere act of walking ten feet from one machine to another is enough to make him out of breath. (Allegedly this guy once played a professional sport in another country?what, do they walk instead of run in their games?) And let's think about what kind of drugs it takes to allow a man to carry 280 pounds of muscle, with almost zero bodyfat. The Cro-Magnon brow and squiggly veins further enhance his reputation as bodybuilding's own Frankenstein, a drug experiment gone horribly wrong. When conversations about who will be the next pro bodybuilder to meet his Maker, Luke is usually number one with a bullet.


2) Byron Peterson

Perhaps it's jealousy that's caused him to be so successful in pro bodybuilding. Maybe it's because he's isolated in Europe, and our American imaginations run away with us as to what "the ghost" is doing in his dungeon of a gym in Northern Europe. Whatever the reason, I have heard absolutely insane rumors of the drug practices of Byron. The nuttiest one claims that each night, Byron withdraws a certain amount of blood, then mixes it with growth hormone. This is left refrigerated overnight, then re-injected every morning. Yuck! Another rumor claims that Byron takes 2 iu's of growth hormone every two hours, every day. True? Nobody but Byron knows for sure. But we've all seen this man grow bigger, uglier, and blockier since his first Olympia. (Over thirty pounds bigger, to be exact) And to see him in the off-season, with dark bags under his eyes, you would think you were looking at the bloated face of a 50-year-old alcoholic?not the man who's supposed to represent a pinnacle of health and fitness. If Byron is one of our sport's top representatives, it's amazing anyone wishing to live to a normal old age would ever take up bodybuilding.


3) Muhammed Kabul

Stop picking on the big guys! I can hear a few (very few) of you whine. Sorry, but how do you think these sides of beef get to be so much larger than the average bear? Muhammed was about 290 at a recent pro show where he flunked a drug test (he swears he could have done better if he had been given more time to study!). But according to gym lore, it isn't diuretics that have been the "secret weapon" for this North African monstrosity. It's the new holy trinity in pro bodybuilding?growth hormone, insulin, and IGF-1. In particular, Muhammed is said to be the most advanced practitioner of insulin and IGF-1 use in the world. To be sure, he's a genetically gifted fella and he trains damn hard. But for someone to come out of nowhere and all of a sudden threaten Dorian Yates, that somebody must be using a lot more than "Mega Gainer 10,000." 'Nuff said.


4) Lance Depardieu

Speaking of "coming out of nowhere," nobody exemplifies this more than new European Monster Lance. Most weight class winners from the World Amateur Championships compete once or twice as pro's, get slaughtered, and give it up. Not our boy Lance. This guy wins his class at the World Championships weighing 230 pounds, and returns at the Arnold Classic at a scale-crushing 280 pounds. Excuse me, fifty pounds of muscle in less than two years? Perhaps if we were talking about a beginner, but a guy that was already a national champion in his country and earned his pro card? What kind and amount of drugs would it take to accomplish a gain like this? It's beyond comprehension. The big rumor about Lance is that he has possibly the greatest connection for drugs in the world. It could very well be bullshit. In any case, seeing this caricature of a human being in person just once will tell you that, although he's merely in his mid-twenties, he has no intention of living to see 40.


5) Donny Viceroy

See, we're not just putting tall guys into the Dead Pool! This guy is one of the shortest bodybuilders ever. Lately, however, he seems to be on a mission to prove he can get as freaky as any of the men with bigger frames. He last competed in 1995, and ever since then, it's been one long, sick off-season. At his heaviest, he was 270 pounds. Now, if you read that in one of the bodybuilding magazines where they praise such accomplishments, they'd be having an orgasm over how his arms are 23 inches, his legs 34, and so on. What they wouldn't mention is that his head and face are now bloated to distortion, and as red as a ripe tomato. He looks uncomfortable just sitting down, and his girlfriend reports that he can no longer sleep on his side, as his shoulders are so wide that his head hangs down perilously. He could easily injure his neck sleeping that way, much like the Elephant Man had to be very careful at bedtime lest he snap his neck with that big melon head. He's only in his mid-twenties, but he looks about 10-15 years older. This is a lad who's determined to play the big boy's game, no matter what it takes, despite having a stature more suited to being a jockey. Recently recovering from a nasty site infection, Donny is "back on track." Good luck, Donny, because if you're not careful, you'll be riding a horse straight to the undertaker, and nobody wants that.


6) Marty Simpson

Marty first gained his reputation as a pharmaceutical daredevil at the Nationals, where he shocked muscle fans by weighing in at a full ten pounds heavier than his last contest. Ten pounds of muscle, you say? What's the big deal? The big deal is that his last contest had been the Junior Nationals, just three months prior! Not only do his constant gains and his alleged concurrent cycles put him at risk, but also his habit of competing in both the Spring shows, the Olympia, and the Grand Prix tours certainly must be taxing to his system. This means, in effect, he could never cycle off even if he wanted to! Some people say he's "Full Blown," but so is his liver, I guess.


7) Tommy Petrovich

Can we talk lobster? This is about the reddest guy I have ever seen, which could mean his blood pressure is much like the volcano in "Dante's Peak." Not only is his face red, but at a recent Arnold Classic, the audience was actually laughing at the sunburn pallor of his entire body. And these are his fellow bodybuilders! And don't try to tell me that his monkey-like face isn't the result of something dangerous.


8) Tim Antonio

Speaking of simian, you know big Tim has to be unique to make this list as an amateur. That big, overhanging shelf of a brow, that giant, bulbous nose, that lantern jaw - good God, isn't this acromegaly at it's worst? And what about that gut? Tim has a stomach so distended it looks like he's about to give birth - to a ten-year-old! Even his glutes, striated and stripped of all fat, are bigger than most guys' backs. Magazines love to glorify 260-pound Tim as "freaky, monstrous," and so on. Why don't any of them have the balls to say this is a prime example of how various drugs can destroy a physique, not to mention a face? Tim presented trophies at a Southern California contest not long ago weighing a bovine 320 pounds at 5'9". Did the bodybuilders seated around me, most of whom were no strangers to drug use themselves, praise and admire him? No. What I heard was, "What a f??? gorilla," and "That dude's gonna die."


9) Jimmy Munson

Now, I don't want to spoil it for those of you who think this giant got his size from the supplements he endorses. But check him out in the "before" picture, at close to 400 pounds. That's right, 400 pounds. I don't give a shit how great his genetics are or how he trains, no human was ever meant to be a muscular 400 pounds. Why the dark bags under his eyes? Why does he look 15 years older than he is? Since most bodybuilders base their drug dosages on their bodyweights, how much would this guy have to take? It boggles the mind, and it would probably give the manufacturers of these drugs a heart attack. Jim is one of the Dead Pool's best bets.


10) Lonny Kramer

I didn't want to put Lonny on this list. I've known him for six years, and he's really a good guy. But is he terribly intelligent? You decide. After nearly losing his life to a terrible disease at age 24, after having chemicals pumped through his chest for over a year, and going through painful medical procedures, what does he do? Does he say, "Thank you God, I'll never mess with the drugs that almost killed me ever again!" No! He goes back on, and announces his plans to continue competing! To be sure, Lonny missed the feeling of being big as a house. Worse, he is surrounded at all times by members of the "Lonny Kramer Fan Club," groupie wanna-be's who urge him to compete. But guess what, Lonny? They didn't almost die, you did! Currently, Lonny is training naturally, since at present the IFBB refuses to issue him a pro card. Hopefully he will continue to do so. The late twenties is too young to die, no matter how great you look in that brief time.

'99:
1) Lee Priest
2) Paul Dillett
3) Chad Nichols
4) Luke Wood
5) Craig Licker
6) Michael Francois
7) Johnny Moya
8) ???????????????
9) Jay Cutler
10) Anthony Clark and Ted Arcidi

Passer nummer 8 ikke rimelig godt på Dexter Jackson, men han er måske lige gammel nok til at være teenager i 1991?
Eller kunne det måske være Mark Dugdale?

'99:
1) Lee Priest
2) Paul Dillett
3) Chad Nichols
4) Luke Wood
5) Craig Licker
6) Michael Francois
7) Johnny Moya
8) ???????????????
9) Jay Cutler
10) Anthony Clark and Ted Arcidi

Passer nummer 8 ikke rimelig godt på Dexter Jackson, men han er måske lige gammel nok til at være teenager i 1991?
Eller kunne det måske være Mark Dugdale?

God anskuelse mester. Har også tænkt på Dugdale, men ikke på Dexter, de er begge 5'6, men jeg er stadig i tvivl.

Luke Wood og hans "fantastiske" Lateral/Medial delts, LMAO:

Passer nummer 8 ikke rimelig godt på Dexter Jackson, men han er måske lige gammel nok til at være teenager i 1991?
Eller kunne det måske være Mark Dugdale?

I knew this kid when he was a teenager on the East Coast in 1991

Mark Dugdale = 17 år gammel i 1991 = teenager
Dexter Jackson = 22 år gammel i 1991

Dugdale!

Han fik immervæk ret med Anthony Clark. Med de historier jeg har læst om hans helbred de sidste mange år af hans liv, så fatter jeg ikke at han ikke stoppede mens tid var. Han skulle efter sigende have fået voldsom næseblod, selv på hans relativt lette opvarmningssæt i bænkpres

Er der nogen der rent faktisk kan finde billeder af de nævnte personer? Jeg har ikke rigtig været i stand til at finde nogle..

Er der nogen der rent faktisk kan finde billeder af de nævnte personer? Jeg har ikke rigtig været i stand til at finde nogle..

1) Lee Priest
2) Paul Dillett
3) Chad Nichols
4) Luke Wood
5) Craig Licker
6) Michael Francois
7) Johnny Moya
8) Mark Dugdale?
9) Jay Cutler
10) Anthony Clark and Ted Arcidi

pics

Jeg havde lige et midlertidigt mentalt meltdown; jeg kiggede på den fra 98 og troede de navne der var angivet der var rigtige, lol

1) Lee Priest
2) Paul Dillett
3) Chad Nichols
4) Luke Wood
5) Craig Licker
6) Michael Francois
7) Johnny Moya
8) Mark Dugdale?
9) Jay Cutler
10) Anthony Clark and Ted Arcidi

Fræk liste, thank you sir.

3) Chad Nicholls er ikke bodybuilder, men en drug coach, der hooker sine klienter op med alt det fine fra medicinskabet.

Interessere mig ikke så meget for pro bodybuilding, men synes nu denne "gætteleg" er ganske sjov, så her kommer mit bud på 1998 listen:

1) Paul Dillet
2) Dorian Yates
3) Nasser El Sonbaty
4) Jean-Pierre Fux
5) Lee Priest
6) Kevin Levrone
7) Aaron Baker
8) Dave Palumbo
9) Greg Kovacs
10) Dennis Newman

Er meget i tvivl om nummer 7, men skulle mene de andre er rigtige

Interessere mig ikke så meget for pro bodybuilding, men synes nu denne "gætteleg" er ganske sjov, så her kommer mit bud på 1998 listen:

1) Paul Dillet
2) Dorian Yates
3) Nasser El Sonbaty
4) Jean-Pierre Fux
5) Lee Priest
6) Kevin Levrone
7) Aaron Baker
8) Dave Palumbo
9) Greg Kovacs
10) Dennis Newman

Er meget i tvivl om nummer 7, men skulle mene de andre er rigtige

7'eren er desværre forkert, men ellers rigtig gode bud.

The Dead Pool 2000

1) Frankenmonster

And the Momo Benaziza award for "Most Likely to Die Within Four Hours of an IFBB Contest" goes to? this Frankenstein's monster-looking muff. It's the third time in a row Blackenstein here has made the ol' Dead Pool. As it is, he has such a tough time holding his poses that he damn near passes out every time he has to endure a prejudging. And the boatloads of drugs (including a reputed 18 IU of GH a day!) he takes don't help his chances of living to a ripe old age, like forty-five.

Weighing 330 in the off-season isn't healthy for anyone's heart, and we know he gasps and wheezes constantly like that crippled black kid on Fox's Malcolm in the Middle. Now he's taken to taunting the Reaper by being a complete moron when it comes to last-minute pre-contest tricks. Freezing at the Arnold a few years back due to diuretics was bad; being hospitalized while competing after going into insulin shock was worse; but how idiotic is it to not eat or drink anything at all in the final 24 hours before the last Mr. Olympia to try to "hold his condition"? Don't that beat all?

Not surprisingly, he had to bail out of yet another big show, or as the score sheet so euphemistically states, "withdrew due to injury." Injury? What is this, ultimate fighting? Last I saw, bodybuilding contests were just a bunch of guys posing their muscles, all oiled up. Sure, sometimes the floor gets slippery with posing oil and sweat, and someone could fall or twist an ankle. And to be fair, oftentimes the posedowns get a bit rough, with occasional elbowing and shoving. But come on now, how can you expect injuries in such a non-contact sport? Thanks to the dopey practices of developmentally-challenged chemical kamikazes as Frankenmonster, expect a lot more close calls at contest time, and inevitably a death or two. Congrats on the three-peat!


2) Biff Strong

He's famous for being one of the few bodybuilders to do time in the klink and return to the sport. Let's give him fair credit for that. Now, let's see how much regard he seems to have for his health ? close to none. How much of a weekly dosage of steroids would you consider excessive and dangerous? Would you say, one thousand milligrams? Three thousand? Still not impressed? Okay, I hope you're sitting down. Biff uses a whopping nine thousand milligrams a week to build his physique. He's known to use two to three grams a week of Testosterone, which is a lot of steroids in and of itself. No wonder he went bald at age 30. (Sorry, good look for Shaft, bad look for white guys.)

Add a gram or two of Deca, a generous amount of GH, and you're starting to see why his tummy sticks out like a little turtle shell. As painful as his training is, he also feels the need to use a bottle of Nubain a day. If the drugs don't kill him, his new wife just might, if she ever finds out about his several girlfriends. The drug this guy really needs to start taking is Pectorabol ? 'cuz he has definitely got the wimpiest chest in pro bodybuilding.


3) Francine Freakazoid

Let's all give a hearty T-mag welcome to the first woman to be inducted into the hallowed Dead Pool. Boy, what a statement for women's equality. You've come a long way, baby! Francine is a Canadian transplant to Los Angeles who chooses not to compete, instead wanting to be known as the thickest female bodybuilder ever. At 5-6 and a very hard 230 pounds, I have a feeling she may have already earned this distinction, though the recognition will be slow to come. (Does she think sponsors will be knocking down her door for endorsements?)

Part of her drug stack includes 500 mg a day of Test, plus 400 mg of Deca. Yikes! Our Canadian princess is stronger than shit, with an 800-pound leg press for 20 reps, and a 285-pound bench press. She's constantly complaining of injection site infections in the delts and glutes, which can be a real bummer. She also has constant five o'clock shadow and the dreaded Barry White voice. In fact, one night Francine was shaving in the woman's bathroom at her gym, topless (she has no breasts whatsoever ? only pecs) with a towel draped around her waist, when in should traipse three female members. Their screams pierced the din of the exercise floor as they fled, shouting, "There's a man in the women's locker room!"

Believe it or not, she has a loving husband who is a little weenie compared to her's. Rumor has it, he tried to commit suicide when she threatened to leave him. Bro, lighten up. You can find a chick with a three-inch clit somewhere else, I imagine. I'm not saying that Frankie here takes more drugs than any other woman in history, but it wouldn't surprise me. Welcome to the Pool, sister!


4) Dopeman

This guy really has one of the very best physiques in pro bodybuilding, though getting shafted by the judges ten times over eventually convinced him that his IFBB career wasn't all it was cracked up to be. He's also the only person in this year's Dead Pool who doesn't use a lot of gear, and has a warm and friendly personality to all he meets. Dopeman practices the "less is more" approach with regard to anabolics, subsisting on a mere 3 or 4 Dianabols a day and about 200-300 mg of enanthate a week for most of the year. So what the hell is he doing on this list?

Well, steroids are a little risky, but certain recreational drugs and combinations thereof are virtually like playing Russian Roulette with two slugs in the cylinder. Dopeman loves Ecstasy, like many Americans these days, and he has also grown fond of animal tranquilizers. Yup, the same type of thing that lets those animal researchers tag nasty Grizzly bears on the ear keeps our guy mellowed out.

Trouble is, he combines the two. Ecstasy contains a variant of methamphetamine, which gets a person all jacked up. It seems like this would confuse the hell out of anyone's system. At a club several weeks ago, while on this deadly drug cocktail, he was talking to someone when he suddenly passed out and hit the floor ? all 245 pounds of him. Paramedics were called and took Dopeman away.

With the addictive nature of these drugs, this frightening episode probably won't be enough to get him to quit the recreational drug usage. I'll be sad to hear it, but knowing this makes me feel like Death can't be too far away for this genuinely nice guy.


5) Crocodile Dumbdee

Croc, I hate to keep putting you here, but why do you continue to reserve a prime spot for yourself? In an Ironman interview last year, little big man claims that he has never been a heavy user of anabolics. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt on this point. He's a bonafide genetic freak, so he probably can get by on far less than what people assume he uses. Again, this time it's not the drugs that get him on the list. What does earn him a position is his habit of blowing up to 275-280 pounds in the off-season (at 5'5"), then somehow coming down to a shredded 220 in just five weeks.

He does this once or twice a year, depending on whether he competes in the spring shows or not. Usually he does. But hold up, wait a minute. Did I mention the types of foods he eats when he's vying for the title of Little Shamu? Croc stuffs himself with Kentucky Fried Chicken family buckets, Krispy Kreme glazed donuts, Twinkies, and Ding Dongs. Hello, Roto Rooter? Could you come down here with one those snake things and scrape this plaque off my arterial walls? Holy Moly!

Combine the extra weight with the high blood pressure and you have a heart attack waiting to happen. As someone once opined about Croc, "He's one Big Mac away from the Big One." Hey, I don't want you to die, Holmes, so ya think you could stay just a bit leaner in the off-season? It won't kill you if you miss out on a few dozen donuts and large fries.


6) World's Strongest Bodybuilder

Yes, Goliath here has been in the Pool before, and he seems to be chugging along just fine. But for how long? Let me comment, if I may, on his billing as being the world's strongest bodybuilder. (I know I'm off the subject) The dude gets up to four bills, and everyone gushes over how he can incline press 600 pounds on a Smith Machine. Do the math. That's like a 200-pound bodybuilder using 300 pounds. Guess what? I know plenty of guys that can do that. Only they weren't born with big, clunky, mutant genetics that let them grow to 400 pounds.

Okay, let's get to the stack, jack. Mongo puts away an entire box of GH a week (that's 18 IU a day), plus various and sundry anabolics totaling up to ten thousand milligrams a week. Shazam! I suppose someone of that size would need to use a higher amount than your average lifter, but who can possibly need an entire ten grams? O-oh, almost forgot. Big boy also slams a sizeable amount of Nubain to numb the constant pain of life as the world's biggest sideshow freak.


7) Way Too Good to be in Our Peasant Sport

To be honest, this is a man I never expected to be in the Pool. He has carefully portrayed himself as a wealthy, intelligent, sophisticated, mannered, debonaire gentleman ? clouds above the average uncouth mongrels that are his fellow competitors. This fellow has one of the best physiques in history, and has placed top three in the Olympia on many occasions, yet he isn't well-liked in the sport at all. His habit of talking trash and bashing his fellow pro's has nearly gotten him beaten up badly more than once.

Most of the guys who frequently make up the top seven at the Mr. Olympia hate his guts and would love to smack the ever-present smug look off his face. What has saved him from many an ass-whupping is the assurance that he would be on the phone to a lawyer in no time flat to file a lawsuit. As suave as this dude pretends to be, he apparently isn't too bright about his steroid use.

The amounts used are high, and he does nothing to detoxify his liver. Now he has serious liver problems. Some have commented on his jaundiced yellow eyes at times, which would be enough to scare the average bodybuilder out of his current bad habits. I always thought this guy, who has been a pro since the age of 22, knew better than to be so reckless with his body. Now that we discover the intelligence was just an act, he's made his way onto our happy little Dead Pool. I bet he's got a hell of a collection of tailored suits for his family to choose when it's time to bury him.


8) Smiley Von Crump

Even if I used his real name, odds are that many of you wouldn't recognize this top-five national-level heavyweight. Today's crop of amateurs just ain't what it used to be. Less than ten years ago you would have Flex Wheeler, Kevin Levrone, and Paul DeMayo all in the top five at the NPC Nationals in the same year. Now it's a mishmosh of guys you've never heard of unless you religiously study NPC News. But back to Smiley. Mr. Crump loves the test. Even with a mere five weeks to go before the USA or Nationals, you can see him puffed up to 280, looking ruddy and waterlogged, like he has sun poisoning or perhaps an allergic reaction. Somehow, barely a month later, he's down to a shredded 230 pounds.

How do these guys come down so fast? Only their hairdressers know for sure. This has got to be a landmark Dead Pool, because in the new millenium steroids are slipping as the major risk factor, while recreational drugs are kicking ass. Why do you think this guy is called Smiley? It's because whenever he comes to the gym to train, he's so loaded on Ecstasy and Nubain that he's definitely feeling no pain.

Occasional use of Ecstasy is probably no big deal, but training all the time while on a drug that dramatically raises your blood pressure and body temperature has got to be one of the stupidest things I've ever heard of. Is that the condition you want to be in when you rep out with 500 pounds on the squat? The scythe of the Reaper is probably already swishing the air around Smiley's head, and it might not be long before he connects.


9) Huey, Dewey, and Louie

Jesus said, "suffer unto me the children." Meanwhile, some greedy steroid dealer in LA said, "children are suckers, and rich kids are the best suckers of all." This juvenile trio, ranging in age from 17 to 20, are on a staggering drug stack that far exceeds anything they could possibly need to build muscle mass. One has jaundice, another has lost much of his hair, and a third had a scrape with the law for beating his girlfriend up in the midst of a 'roid rage. All three have the telltale back and shoulder acne and moon faces of heavy androgen use.

The sad thing is that only one of these kids looks anything like a bodybuilder. The other two are no more than 170-180 pounds, but strong as shit. (Would you believe 180-pound one-arm dumbbell rows?) Part of their stack (a very small part) includes three Anadrol-50 tabs a day, which they stay on year-round. Ouch! If their livers don't look like Swiss cheese yet, they will soon enough. Despite being so young and small, all three take at least as much gear as your average 280-pound bodybuilder who's been training heavy and juicing for over a decade.

If indeed these three young scamps have a drug "guru" designing their programs, he or she should be ready for the inevitable wrongful death lawsuit in a couple years. Death at a young age is always a tragedy, and is made even more senseless when it comes from the pursuit of such a shallow goal. I know that it may seem worthwhile to risk your life for big muscles when you're a teenager, but if these kids live long enough, they'll look back with regret at what they did to their young, developing bodies in order to reach a goal that few people could give a rat's ass about anyway.

Huey, Dewey, and Louie are hereby recognized as the youngest-ever members of the Dead Pool. What do you put their odds at? Young bodies are quite resilient, but they will only take so much abuse before some major organ shuts down and their clocks run out.


10) Mister Sister

DP2K is proud to announce a second woman into our special little group. Mr. Sister is a national-level heavyweight gal, but most people think she's a 'roided up man in drag. She's big, she's ugly, and she uses a shitload of steroids. The red face and protruding belly tell you that she can keep up with any man when it comes to downing fistfuls of pills and injecting a few loaded syringes a day.

In efforts to appear more feminine, she got some horrible breast implants that look more like alien growths than actual tits. Additionally, her thyroid has shut down from unnecessary use of thyroid medication, and she now needs to take 4, 25-mg tablets of Cytomel a day in the off-season for normal function. That amount doubles come pre-contest time. She had better hope Death isn't a shmoe looking for a hot date one of these Saturday nights.